Life was good.

In all honesty, life was *Incredibly* good.

Can't be a good sign.


Magical Girl Hunters Episode 7: 

By Nate Devoll

Created by Aaron Shattuck.


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Now, for the readers in our audience who thinks they can skip to
the newest part of a fanfic, lets recap:

     We had, to say the least, one of the biggest, most well
paying jobs sitting right there in the palm of our hands. Twelve
magical girls, 500,000 yen per fuku. Needless to say, we grabbed
it quick, quick like a bunny. Though I'd rather not think of
bunnies....With me,they're usually pink, and mean and...Anyways.
We took the job,  and once AGAIN in our not-so-illustrious
careers...! 

     We pulled it off.  Without so much as a few hitches.
Murphy's law decided to pleasantly look the other way, and I
wasn't complaining.  

     We did, however, receive a most unexpected addition to our
little "team".  A fourteen-year old Magical girl with an affinity
for heavy artillery and all things bold and military. She had
come to us in hopes of paying us a measly 3,000 yen in order to
kill her. In short, she was watching a battle between youma and a
defense force, when she was hit with a stray blast of random
energy. However, Mr.Ultra's forces decided she was too good to
let die, and *blessed* her with the abilities given to their
usual homemade,fuku-clad Magical girls.

     It was at this point, Itami decided to pull a 180 on me: He
asked her to join us. Oddly enough, she accepted, wanting to be
able to kill the cuteness of the Magical forces we are always up
against. And myself and Itami found that she was fairly useful!
She killed four of the twelve tots we knocked off. It did
brighten me a little when she made the fuku and everything else
camouflaged and all commando-like. What was even more fun was her
name: Pretty Deadly.

There. Consider yourself informed.

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     I pulled the number that Mr. Mizumo had given us out of my
pocket , and walked over to a phone booth near the port.
Gleefully I picked up the receiver, pulled out a phone card that
made me feel all tingly, and dialed the number.

     As is normal with big companies, I got a receptionist. And
an irritating old, one, at that.

     <"Hello, Mizumo Whaling Industry..">

     I winced. It took her almost five minutes to say that. "Yes,
may I speak to Mr. Mizumo?"

     <"Certainly...May...I...Ask...Who...Is..---">
     
     I cut her off. "Just tell him that its about a recent
business transaction he made dealing with members of the student
profession. And please, do it quickly."

     <"Certainly.......Sir....Please...Hold...">

     I waited well over twenty minutes. And it was one harsh
twenty minutes... There was music while I was on hold..If you
could call it that. And what was worse, was that it was now stuck
in my head.

     <*Mmm-bop!...Oh,oh, mMM-BOP!*>

     I lifted my gun and contemplated shooting myself, but used
the thought of money to clear the presumably female gibberish
that streamed from the phone.

     <"Hello?">

     I was snapped  from my suicidal trance by Mizumo's voice.
"Mr. Mizumo? This is one of the...Troubleshooters..You called.
I'd like to say that we have indeed cleared all twelve
tar---Contracts, you assigned us."

     I was smart enough to use buisness-speak when talking to
someone who could get into considerable trouble from hiring
killers to kill adolescents.It wasn't kosher with the local law
enforcement, nor government officials....Or house-wives...Or
anybody, really..But it was damn better than flipping burgers.
DAMN better.

     <"You were able to complete all twelve contracts?
Magnificent! However...">

     However?...That didn't sound good. "However? Why is there a
'however'?"

     <"Do you have proof?">

     Ah. I should have figured. "You'll have to clean the proof
up at the dock. Its all over the walls..The
stairs...The....Everywhere."

     <"I understand. As soon as there is a confirmation of the
contracts, you will be called, and we will set up a place to make
a transaction. Okay?">

     Hrm...Risky. We'd have to run the risk of a backstab....It
was then that I got an idea.

     "Hows about this? You send a coupla guys here, confirm it,
and then you pay us. I don't like to wait, Mr. Mizumo."

     <"I understand. Two of my more trusted workers will be there
rather shortly, Yoi-san.">

     We hung up almost at the same time. I stepped out of the
phone booth and over to my "posse". Sailor H was doing the usual. 
She was all over Itami like ants at a picnic. Itami,
meanwhile,remained indifferent, solemnly holding onto his
mother's sword.

     Aika was the first to speak up. "Well?"

     I looked at each one of them in turn, and smiled.

     "He's sending some guys over now to confirm the kills. He
doesn't seem to have any ulterior motives, but for safety's sake,
everyone keep armed. We're ever so close to being in a heap of
money, and I'm not losing this chance."

     Everyone more or less agreed with me, and nodded.

     And so we waited. 

     And waited.

     Sailor H whispered something into Itami's ear, at which
point he blushed. But both of them walked over to the car and
opened the back seat.  I immediately removed the thought of Itami
having sex with *anyone*, let alone a girl I would pay hard
earned money for*Ahem*  

     I decided to bide my time talking with Aika, instead. 

     "So..What do you plan on being when you grow up?"

     " A professional soldier!"

     Well. That conversation certainly bided my time for .05
seconds I decided to find a different topic. She was in school,
so I tried my best to recall exactly what I did when I was in
school. It really wasn't much to look back on
--------------------------------------

     "So, Sae-chan, what are plans for this--," *slap*.
--------------------------------------

     "So, Atsuko-sempai, might I be able to help you with those,"
*CRACK*

--------------------------------------

     "So, Hinako-sensei, I hear the teacher's lounge is empt--,"
*Sounds of incredible beating*

--------------------------------------


     Ah, my youth.  I snapped myself back to the present as Aika
kindly pointed out that a long black Sedan was pulling up to us.
I stepped over to the car and rapped on the back seat, trying to
ignore the moans that it was emitting. A minute later, the pair
stepped out. Itami's hair was in more disarray than usual, and
Sailor H's lack costume was all out of place.  I attempted to
help her out of the car, but found my self getting a slap as hard
as any I received back in my school days.

     The sedan parked, and two men in full black suits stepped
out of the car. They completely ignored us, and headed straight
for the building where we had just recently mopped the floors
with the "Dozen of Light".

     We all twiddled our thumbs and waited for the men to
complete their inspection. After almost an hour of waiting for
them to finish, they both stepped  back into the open,
bloodstains on their shoes, and socks. One turned from the other
one, and headed for the car. The other one didn't change course
and got straight in front of me. He was a tall man, and towered
over me. He then spoke to me in a voice that is usually reserved
for idol singers that make dogs ears bleed.

"We were able to find the complete remains of 7 girls. The
others, Yoi-san, you will not be compensated for. I apologize for
this inconvenience. My partner is retrieving your fee."

The whole of us tried not to laugh at the man's girlish voice,
but kept ourselves in check, for now.   I *knew* I was gonna get
screwed over. I was about to step up to the man and start arguing
when Aika put her hand on my shoulder. She bent me over and
whispered something in my ear. A few gears turned, and I looked
back over at the man.

     "How many of them were you able to find 'parts' of, though?"

     The tall man stared at me  for a few seconds, and then
walked over to his car.
     For far too many times this evening, we waited. And waited.
Finally, both of them stepped out of the car and headed towards
our quad of people. This time they were carrying a rather large
briefcase. The tall man lumbered over to me, and once again,
spoke in his high-pitched voice.

     "We will be willing to pay you the total of 4,500,000 yen.
All in bills."

     In unison, we agreed. This would be able to pay for
apartment! And everything else! I was in state of glee, as the
man handed the suitcase to Aika. The men however, left as soon as
they had delivered the money. That was usually bad.

     I punted the briefcase out of Aika's hands and  towards
their Sedan and side-tackled my commando-fuku-clad-comrade..
Itami did much the same, but Sailor H figured it out and caught
Itami on the ground in a rather compromising position.

     Meanwhile, the briefcase exploded, making a rather messy
work of the bastard's Sedan, and in all likeliness, char-broiled
the two idiots inside. I smiled to myself, despite the fact we
had just been royally screwed over, as usual. How the hell was I
gonna pay the Finn? I left that matter for another time.

     "C'mon, guys. Lets go home."

     We all turned around and headed towards the car. When
something odd happened.  From out of nowhere, a pencil embedded
itself in the roof of the car. I turned around to find myself
looking at a shadow being cast down from a lightpost. It was a
fat, college kid. With nice coke-bottle glasses. In a nice suit
and tie. And a top hat. I groaned.

     " For ever setting your dastardly hands near my dear, gone
Princess Love, I, PRETTYBOY WARRIOR NEKOMI TECH KAMEN WILL
DESTROY YOU!!"

     I dunno, is it just me, or do pedophiles show up at the
worst times?

------------------------------------------
What on earth will happen to our fatal four? 
Why did I change my plot 90 times?
How much wood could  that demonic pink bunny from episode one
chuck?

Some of these questions to be answered in the next part,
hopefully.

Many thanks to the Shade Eternal, who helped by editing.

Please, send criticism and comments to:RDvll@aol.com I'd really
appreciate it.
