Improfanfic presents...



MAGICAL GIRL HUNTERS



An Improfanfic created and started by Aaron Shattuck.



Episode 10: Time out.


By Ash.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

     Things did not look good at all. We were already dealing with some fat freak
from Nekomi, who obviously needed to seek psychiactric help for an outrageous
case of pedophilia, when the remaining Shining Crayola Knights, some of whom we
had taken out earlier, had shown up.

     It was turning out to be one 'o those days where I shoulda stood in bed. My
ammo was down to next nothing, and I suspect Aika, who had my good gun, was
about the same. 

     But then I wondered, (Just where the hell are Itami and H? they should've
been here by now.) My hopes rose momentarily, thinking maybe they could get us
out of this mess.

     However those very selfsame hopes were shot down mercilessly when I saw
that the Knights had not only captured them, but had them tied up like deer on the
hood of a '57 Chevy. I had no idea where the Knights had gotten the Chevy, but I
knew we were in for it.

     The Knights parted suddenly, and we saw that the car had no driver. Not
only that, but it was anthropmorphosizing before our eyes into...

     It was cute. No, it had gone further than that. The cuteness went too far, to
the point of revulsion. I hated it on sight. It was an abomination, one that had to be
destroyed, else my very sanity might be lost. I also realised that if I survived this, I
was going to England, and after finding the kisama responsible for their children's
programming, give them a stern talking to, and then defenestrate them.

     Not even Momoko Sakura, or Hello Kitty had gone this far.

     Reaching into my coat, I pulled out a grenade, and prepared to throw it. I
stopped, realizing that my best friend Itami was on that thing, and if I blew it up, I
would end up wounding--or worse yet, kill him. 

     Wait. I could always lob it into one the two crowds of Crayon Knights,
taking some of them out, allowing Aika and myself  to get away. Looking back, I
tried to communicate what I had planned to her silently, and hope she understood.

     Seeing the grenade in my hand, she nodded, and prepared to bolt when the
time came. I smiled to her and, and pulled the pin, praying a simple prayer that it
would blow mine enemy to tiny bits in mine mercy. 

     I tossed into the massing throngs, who began to panic as they saw the small
messenger of death as it flew screaming towards them.

     And then time stood still. 

     I blinked a few times and took a look around. Apparently time had frozen for
everyone but myself, Aika, Itami, and H. Shrugging, as I was not one to look a gift
horse in the mouth, I motioned to Aika to follow me and help Itami and H.

     Shortly afterward, as H and Itami were rubbing their rope burns, we
discussed what we should do in the current situation. We didn't talk for long, as a
light appeared from out of nowhere, and the most unlikely pair walked out of it. 

     The first appeared to be a refined man of British manner, immaculately
dressed in a fine suit, carrying a cane, and held his nose high. He was followed by a
younger man, who wore baggy baggy military-style pants and a filthy t-shirt. The
boy carried a small toolbox in his hand.

     The stuck up one walked over to us, and with a tip of his bowler hat, and the
passing of a business card to us, introduced himself.

     "Nigel Ruthersford Ramsbottom at your service. I assume that you are the
Magickal Girl Hunters, am I right?"

     I nodded, saying, "Yes, but never assume. It makes an ass out of you and
me."
     
     Ramsbottom made some pitiful attempt at laughter and continued. "Yes.
Now, I have come to make you a proposition."

     "Alright, it's your fifty yen, explain." I replied, nodding.

     "I have need of your services, in short, I need for you to kill some people. My
associate," he paused, and indicated the kid behind him. "Phil has something to show
you."

     Phil, as he had been introduced, made a salute of sorts, and said "Yo."and
opened his toolbox. Rising up on sturdy legs that extended from the bottom of the
box, which expanded, until there was a very long, very wide case.

     He then opened the case, allowing us to see what was inside. I let out a small
whistle, which Aika followed suit. Inside was a collection of guns that put my best
pieces to shame.  Phil pulled out a pistol, and after sliding the action into place,
handed it to me. Despite the size of the thing, I was surprised to learn that it was
surprisingly light. I handed it to Aika, whose eyes widened to the size of platters, and
an expression of pure joy filled her face.

     Ramsbottom regarded all this with an unfazeable severity. 

     "Alright, what do you want us to do?" I asked, not quite sure what to expect
from these strangers.

     "I want you to sanction the 'Shubby-chan's Happy Happy Joy Joy Fun
Club'." he said in a tone that would have made stone sweat.

     I was shocked. "What!? That's a cult. Isn't there an agency that handles
cults? We just do Magical Girls."

     There was a slight twitch on Ramsbottom's face that could have been
mistaken as a smile. "You seen how disgusting these 'Crayon Knights' are. The
Club is much worse."

     "How so?" asked Itami, who surprised me by actually saying something.

     "Well, the Knights were created through use of the Necronomicute, which is
a corruption of an older, more destructive tome called the Necronomicon. We simply
do not know if the Club has achieved their goals, or if any magical girls have been
created by them."

     I was a bit surprised when I heard that. "I'm interested, but I want to know if
you're able to pay our fees."

     Ramsbottom appeared to be completely unfazeable. "Of course. But instead
of money, your payment shall be your coice of the weapons in the case before you,
and information."

     "Information? About what? Or whom?" I asked, not completely sure about
this situation. 

     "About that Ultra chap who's been giving you so much trouble of late."

     I was interested then. If his information was on the level, we could deal with
Ultra for once and for all. "I'm interested, but I want to know about anything that
might be in the interest of our continued survival on this job."

     Phil nodded and passed around rifles of a type I had never seen before. "You
will need this if they've got any Dark Young around their compound."

     "Dark Young?" asked Aika, sounding a bit worried at the sound of that.

     "Yeah," said Phil. "They're the children of Shub-Niggarath, and are  real 
nasty pieces of work. But these series-9 De-atomizers will take them out without any
real trouble. The Young aren't that hard to spot. They're big, black, and have bodies
made of an oily, rope-like substance."

     Suddenly, I wasn't so hot to take this job. "I don't know. This really isn't our
type of job. Are you sure you want us?"

     Ramsbottom was completely unfazed by this. "You are the only ones with
sufficient experience, and you seem to have a knack for surviving anything that
comes your way. And you get to keep any of guns, save for the de-atomizers, from
the box."

     That was something else entirely. If worse came to worse, we could sell some
of the guns to pay off any debts that might come up. Besides, it was only a cult.
Those Dark thingies might not even be there. "One moment, while I consult with my
colleagues." 

     "But of course."

     Gathering everyone except Ramsbottom and Phil into a huddle, we discussed
the situation. 

     "Well, do we agree or not? I figure we're all in on this."

     "..."

     "I love this gun."

     "They helped us with the Crayon Knights. They might not be telling us
anything, but they are giving us the equipment to do it. Besides, this cult might be
making magical girls of their own."

     Well, it was almost unanimous. "Itami, can you contribute to this decision?"

     "... we could be in over our heads. Shub-Niggurath is a nasty piece of work,
and her worshippers are almost as bad."

     --I-- blinked. H and Aika blinked. "Itami, in all of our years of frienship and
partnership, I have never seen you this articulate about something. Where did you
find out about this interest before?"

     "I never had any need."

     That was a surprise. "Alright. Do you think we should agree to this or not?"

     Itami scratched his stubbly chin, deep in thought. "Why not? We've been
successful to date, besides, they're giving us the guns to do it with."

     "So be it. The Magical Girl Hunters Agency is full agreement."

     I turned to face Ramsbottom. "We'll take the job. On one condition."

     Ramsbottom nodded. "What, pray tell, what that be?"

     "Why do you need this cult taken out?"

     "The cult is involved in rites that are a fusion of the Necronomicon and the
Necronomicute. If they are successful, whatever is unleashed could threaten the
sanctity of this space/time continuum."

     Now THAT was a surprise. But a deal was a deal. "Alright, we'll do it. Just
one more question. Where is this cult located?"

     A smile crept up and shattered that cold, stern face of Ramsbottom's. "But of
course." he paused, reached into his jacket, and pulled out an evelope. "Inside this is
the address of the cult, and who in the cult must be sanctioned to fulfill the terms of
the contract."

     "Will we need to show proof of these hits?"

     "No, we will be monitoring you as you go about your business. I would
suggest you make the best of your current situation, as the chronal stasis field
surrounding this area will shut down five minutes after my departure." said
Ramsbottom nodding and tilting his hat.

     I nodded, and motioned for the others to take what they wanted out of the
case. "Alright folks. Take what you need, and leave the rest."  Walking over, I
pulled out two pair of pistols, which looked like oversized, modified .45s, a shotgun
that carried a very large magazine, and the most innocuous-looking item in the case.

     When the others had gotten what they wanted, I closed the case, which Phil
then shrank down to it's original, toolbox form. Then with a wave and a nod, the two
disappeared in another flash of light. 

     "Alright people, we've got five minutes. Let's get to work, and take out these
girls with some style." I said, picking up some of the knights and walking over to the
car.

     It took us nearly the entire five minutes, but we managed to get all of the
Crayon Knights piled in and on the chevy, and as the piece' de resistance, I
repositioned the grenade I had tossed so that it was right in front of our work of art.
Then we trotted off a safe distance away, and waited for the show to begin. Then I
decided, the hell with it, and aimed my gun at the grenade. 

     Right about then, time kicked in, and 57 magical girls began screaming in
terror. The grenade hurtled towards them, and I let out a round from one of the
pistols.  The action from the gun nearly knocked me for a loop, and the shot hit the
grenade just as it landed on one of the Knights. 

     The resulting explosion was beautiful, and we walked away, enjoying the
sight as it replayed in our minds. We had taken out the rest of the Knights, we had a
new job, and a new arsenal. Things were starting to look up for the agency. Maybe I
should look into expanding our business base.


* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

WILL THE MAGICAL GIRL HUNTERS BE SUCCESFUL ON THEIR NEW
JOB? WAS RAMSBOTTOM REALLY ON THE LEVEL?  WHAT HORRORS
ARE INSIDE THE SHUBBY-CHAN'S HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY FUN CLUB?
IS THAT UNASSUMING WEAPON REALLY THE MOST POWERFUL
WEAPON ON THE PLANET? ARE THE NEW WEAPONS FOR REAL?
FIND OUT IN THE NEXT TWISTED EPISODE OF MAGICAL GIRL
HUNTERS.