The latest installment of......

Magical Girl Hunters

Episode 19: That's one down...

By: Matthew G. Campbell (mgcampb@clemson.edu <mailto:mgcampb@clemson.edu>)

Presented by ImproFanfic (<http://pixelscapes.com/improfanfic/)>

Magical Girl Hunters created by Aaron Shattuck

And away we go.....
======

I don't know which one of us kissed Captain Kawaii, but I certainly know which 
one of us pulled back and excused himself to peek out the door. Me, good old sensible 
Yoi. Now don't get me wrong, 'Kumiko' was awfully cute and the half-lustful, half-
worshipful look she was giving me was doing great things for my ego. On the other 
hand, my memories of Captain "I like hurting people" Kawaii were only days old. Not 
to mention that she had been acting none too stable since I had met her as Kumiko. 
Besides, this just wasn't the time or the place.

Or so I kept telling myself as I dragged her down the corridor, the coast having 
proved clear. Her hand felt warm in mine and the way she kept pressing herself against 
me every time we paused.....

"Yoi!" Aika rounded the corner in front of us and waved for me to follow. I don't 
think she was really waving for Kumiko to follow. Call it professional jealously, or 
perhaps the more personal sort.

We followed, only to see that Aika was being led herself. Murray, the irascible old 
buzzard, was doing something useful for once and helping us find our way out. I felt 
almost glad I had never given in to temptation and blown his buzzard brains out. 
Almost.

Six Shining Crayon Knights were standing guard at the front doors. Well, they 
were guarding a hole where the front doors used to be, anyway. Shamblers don't 
appreciate such niceties as bothering to open *before* going through. I took a split-
second to consider my options. I could just toss a grenade at them, which ought to be 
enough distraction so the three of us (and Murray) could slip through. On the other 
hand, I had two magical girls and a soul-sucking wakizashi on my side. With a little 
effort and a little risk to my own skin, I could make sure Ultra wouldn't be summoning 
those Knights back from the dead to bother us again.

Call me a short-term thinker. I rolled out a grenade. I think it might have killed 
the Magenta Knight, but the others just got thrown against various walls. In magical 
girl terms, that meant they would be up and shaking themselves off in about three 
seconds. Luckily, this gave us enough time to run through and make a rush for the 
main gate. We crossed the street, nearly getting ourselves run over by a Mizumo 
industries truck. (I made a mental note to myself to do something about those bastards. 
You let one client get away with screwing you over, and pretty soon they're all trying 
it.) A quick hop over some bushes, and we were back to where I had stashed my car 
for our getaway. Just in time too, as a brown energy bolt burst above our heads.

"Itami, no!" I shouted. I used the gun in my hand to knock his throwing knife out 
of the air before it could bury itself in Kumiko's heart. Hey, occasionally I do manage 
to do cool things. "It's Kumiko. You remember, representative of our clients?"

Itami shrugged and mumbled a quick "Sorry." to Kumiko. I could tell he didn't 
mean it though, as the Kawaii fuku and costume had to be making him mighty 
suspicious.

I told Kumiko, "This is why I wanted you to transform earlier. See fuku, shoot 
fuku, that's how it goes in our business."

A quick count showed everybody was there. Kyo and Mai must have hooked up 
with the first group somewhere along the way. Sailor H was hanging off of Itami as 
usual, though he still seemed fixated on Kumiko. Reika was huddled with Keikaku, 
wrapping his hand with a bandage. Brief stirring of jealously were beginning to well, 
stir, at how close they were getting when the bushes behind us caught fire. A quick 
glance showed the Shining Crayon Knights were out in force and they sure looked 
angry.

"I hereby declare this raid over," I said, cocking a thumb at the horde of magical 
girls behind us. It looked like we'd cut their numbers some, but there were still dozens 
of them, and something must have happened to our shamblers.

For once, nobody argued with me. Reika, Keikaku, Itami, and I piled into the car. 
We had planned for Mai and Kyo to travel with us, making for a tight squeeze. Given 
their newly revealed wings, I just told them to fly somewhere safe, and gave them 
directions to meet us back at Itami's place. Yeah, Itami's place. By that time, I figured 
my apartment was undoubtedly as compromised as the office. Mai looked like maybe 
he wouldn't show, but Kyo still seemed grateful for the rescue. Hopefully she could 
talk him around. H and Aika would use a little magical girl speed to get some distance, 
then detransform and make their way to Itami's place incognito. H knew where it was.

Kumiko simply opened one of those rips in the fabric of space and vanished into it. 
Working for the Balancers obviously had its perks, though I was a bit annoyed she 
hadn't offered to take us along. Mind you, I caught this in the rear view mirror as I 
burned rubber.

A few multicolored energy bursts scorched the paint job, but we made it safely 
out. Luckily, most magical girls can't outrun a car on a straightaway. Itami was 
sulking because I wouldn't let him drive. Oh, to anyone else it might have seemed like 
he was calmly looking out the window. I knew sulking when I saw it. A groan came 
from the back seat, and I remembered the bandage.

"Zig when you should have zagged, Keikaku?"

I could feel his glare even through my seatback. "One of those youmas Ultra was 
growing bit off two of my fingers! I'm crippled, maimed! Do you realize how much 
this is going to slow down my computer work?"

Reika spoke up. "You saved my life, Keikaku-chan. I'm very grateful."

Keikaku-chan? Those vague feeling of jealously returned, and I decided to change 
the subject from Keikaku's 'heroic sacrifice'. "So what happened to the shamblers?"

Itami grunted and answered. "Ultra dissolved them."

In compensation for Itami's laconic ways, Reika filled me in. "He must have been 
preparing for a possible break with Shub-Niggurath even earlier than I thought. 
Shamblers aren't exclusive to us, but the Cult does use them a lot. We got halfway in 
and some man in a labcoat tossed this white powder on our mounts. In about ten 
seconds, we were on foot."

I was a little disturbed by her use of the present tense with regards to the Cult, but 
decided to let it go as a slip of the tongue. Mainly in the hope that she might slip me 
some tongue in the near future.

*****

Itami's apartment was weird. He wasn't any richer than I was, so it was the same 
kind of small place in a bad part of town that my apartment was. The strange part was 
the inside. First of all, it was dark. I wasn't sure if Itami had so much as opened the 
windows or pulled up the blinds since the day he moved in (which admittedly had only 
been three years before). There was about half as much interior light as you needed to 
find your way around inside, though Itami never seemed to have any trouble. Despite 
all this, the rooms were actually pretty clean. There was always a scent of freshner and 
Lysol in the air and I never noticed any bugs.

The whole place gave a shadowy, mysterious impression, like there were ancient 
treasures and dark secrets lurking about odd corners. Which I knew for a fact was a 
crock, as I had helped Itami move in and got an opportunity to see his possessions were 
all the typical junk of a young bachelor. He didn't even own a television set , which 
explained why he spent so much time hanging out at my place or the office. Not that I 
minded all that much. Itami could be good company as long as you didn't expect too 
much in the way of conversation.

Anyway, we got there and Itami let us in. I, of course, bumped my shin on a chair 
first thing, while Reika rushed Keikaku to the bathroom to further attend to his wounds. 
Itami turned the radio on and adjusted it to a nice oldies station we both liked. Then he 
got us each a beer from the fridge (which didn't have a light go on when you opened the 
door). For a couple of minutes we just sat there, the two of us. It was almost like old 
times.

Now I don't expect you to believe that Magical Girl hunting was ever a safe or 
easy job, but for most of the past three years, that's all it had been, a job. The sudden 
chaos infecting every part of my life was new, and I didn't much care for it. I wanted to 
be able to relax and have a beer with my best friend and maybe take Reika on that date 
like I had promised Koi. I wanted not to have to worry about where the next assault 
would be coming from. I wanted-

A knock at the door interrupted. I got up and opened without bothering to check 
through the peephole. If it was a psychotic magical girl come to kill me, at least I could 
die happy.

Luckily it was just Aika and a friend. Just some tall blonde in a loose-fitting dress, 
perhaps a bit on the pudgy side... It took a minute for the realization to hit me. I had 
never actually seen Sailor H untransformed before. More had changed than her hair 
color. It wasn't that she was ugly exactly, but the burning sexuality of her magical girl 
form was missing. She looked like somebody's sister, or maybe a young aunt.

"Are you just going to stand there all day or are you going to let us in?" Aika 
sounded a little annoyed. I realized I'd been standing there staring way to long, and I 
moved aside so the could enter Itami's humble abode.

Aika immediately softened and smiled at me, as she headed over to Itami's table 
and started to clean her gun. Say this for Aika, she knew how to take care of her 
weaponry. I was more interested in H. She headed straight for Itami as usual, but 
instead of straddling his body in some incredibly erotic way, she sat primly on the arm 
of his chair and clutched his hand.

H smiled an utterly sweet and pure smile at my partner. "Oh Itami, I'm so glad 
you made it back safely. I was worried when I saw them firing at the car."

Itami's face retained his usual stoicism, but I could see one of his feet tapping 
against the floor. Apparently H had never detransformed for him, because he was as 
freaked out as I was. "Looking good." Another smooth line from our ladies man.

H just giggled, but I decided to put the question to her a little more directly. "H, 
what happened to you? You aren't being your usual sexual predator of a self."

Apparently that was a little too directly, because she looked at my like I was 
something she'd scraped off the bottom of her shoes. Nice to know some things didn't 
change.

"Call me Kasumi when I'm like this," H (or rather Kasumi) said. "I don't have my 
H powers when I'm not Sailor H, so I'm a little more inhibited right now. I like myself 
better the other way, but when Aika and I detransformed to get away, I thought I might 
as well stay like this for a while. I want to show I can be a proper girlfriend for Itami 
as well as fun."

Itami gave a little grunt. He tried to pretend it was gas from the beer, but he 
wasn't fooling me. This was the first time the g-word had been raised, and I'm sure he 
was panicking a little. "Girlfriend" meant commitment and little commitments could 
lead to bigger ones and well.... Even as unimaginative as Itami could be, I'm sure his 
mind was rushing through the possibilities.

"Maybe we can double-date." The words were coming from near my ear, and a 
hand gripped my shoulder. The other two had returned from the bathroom with the 
knock at the door and witnessed the entire scene. Reika had crept up behind me and put 
her face awfully close to mine, smiling a bit.

I must have looked pretty startled, because her smile turned to a frown. "If you 
want to, that is. I like you Yoi, and I think you like me. I'm not one of those girls who 
has to wait for a guy to ask her out."

"No, sure I'd love to go out with you sometime when we aren't immediately in 
danger of having someone brutally murder us." Not the smoothest acceptance line in 
history, but I was a little confused. Me asking a girl out was an unfortunately rare and 
treasured event in and of itself. A woman asking me out went against the natural order 
of things.

Even though Aika looked a bit disappointed, she didn't say anything. I did kind of 
like her, but she was just a smidgen young. Besides, Reika wanted me enough to ask 
_me_, which gave her about ten thousand points in my book. Keikaku had the strangest 
reaction. He didn't look jealous, which I might have enjoyed. Instead he looked puzzled 
and maybe a little worried.

The six of us shot the breeze for a few minutes, trying our best to make small talk. 
Between Aika's 'guns n ammo', Reika's 'demonic entities I have served', and Keikaku's 
'dark futures I have foreseen' the conversation kept jumping pretty well. Still, we all 
knew we were waiting, and a knock at the door signaled what we were waiting for.

As I had hoped, Kyo was outside, dragging a resisting Mai by the arm. For a 
wonder, they were even clothed appropriately for their gender. Maybe their stint at the 
Ultra Villa had shaken them up a bit.

Even the enthusiastic Kyo shied back a bit, seeing the harsh looks we were giving 
the two. Her brother flashed her an 'I told you so' glance, but it wouldn't help anything. 
They weren't going anywhere until we finally got some answers once and for all.

I took the lead, being the leader and all. Hey, even Ultra had said so. "Alright, I 
want the whole story from the two of you. What's going on with your father, what's 
going on with you, and what's he likely to do next. No more of these vague evasions 
you've fed us."

Kyo looked to Mai, Mai looked to Kyo, and they both looked at the floor in 
surrender. Alternating, they told us their story.

Kyo began. "I tried to tell you earlier, but I don't think you were paying attention. 
Our father, Mashihaish Ultra, is an angel. He was, in fact, charged with recruiting and 
training magical girls to fight various menaces to humanity."

Mai continued. "Back before we were born, Dad took his job seriously. None of 
this creating hundreds of magical girls and sending them out to be slaughtered business. 
He loved each and every one of them; they were all like daughters for him. He even 
created a few Kamen so that those girls who needed it could have true loves to support 
them. None of this pedophile crap, either. I think at least some of those magical 
women were Dad's, back from before he-"

Mai trailed off and Kyo took up the slack. "So he met Mom, and he fell in love. 
Romantic love, not the parental stuff like before. I can tell what you're thinking, but no, 
she wasn't one of his charges. She was just a teacher or something he ran into. Mom's 
name was Akane, Akane Ultra. Yeah, me and Mai were born in the bounds of holy 
wedlock. Did you expect anything less from an angel? It's hard for me to judge, but I 
don't think Dad slacked off any on his job, even after we were born. He's always been 
devoted to his family, but he considered his magical girls to be family as well. Then-"

Back to Mai. My neck was getting sore from swinging back and forth. "Then 
Mom died. It was a shoot-out between some youmas and magical girls. Not any of 
Dad's, his wouldn't have been so careless of bystanders."

"Though it was the youmas that actually did it," put in Kyo. This seemed 
important to her.

Mai ignored the interruption. "This all gets kind of complicated and into things 
man wasn't meant to know, but Dad wasn't allowed to see Mom in heaven or 
communicate with her as long as he was assigned here on earth. And he wasn't allowed 
to quit his assignment. He was falling apart, and so were we. So we- me and Kyo that 
is, we decided to bring Mom back from the dead."

I would have fallen out of my seat, except that I was standing up. Obvious, in 
retrospect. The two of them must have been the ones to come up with this coming back 
from the dead trick in the first place. All use of the technique could be traced back to 
them. "Explain it. I want to know how this works, and no put-offs this time. As long 
as your father can bring back anybody he feels like, we don't stand a chance."

Kyo sighed. "Think of the universe as a giant computer system. Beings of power 
try to promote various causes but they don't really run things. It's all automated, so to 
speak. Sometimes when everybody agrees, changes can be made to the programming, 
but the system generally works without any supervision. Now occasionally things fall 
through the cracks that the programming doesn't cover. Things not anticipated by the 
original programmers or any additions since."

"Oh come on!" This from Aika. "You can't tell me you're the first half-angels in 
the world."

Mai shook his head. "Not the first half-angels, but the first to take advantage of 
this particular loophole. Angels can travel between the afterlife and this world, but are 
under hardwired limitations. Mortal souls can't travel, but have no limitation. We 
made special preparations in advance, and then I killed myself."

"What!!??" I'm not sure who said that, maybe it was me.

Kyo said, "I wasn't happy about it either, but it seemed like the only way. When I 
pulled him back to life, so to speak, I opened up a channel between this world and the 
afterlife. Under the proper circumstances, it's possible to bring someone back through 
that channel."

This was what it all came down to. "No more 'under the proper circumstances'. 
Tell me how."

Reika clutched my shoulder. "Remember what we discussed last time."

"Sorry Reika," I said. "If we don't do something about this, it's only a matter of 
time before Ultra kills us all. Even those swords the Balancers are promising aren't 
going to be enough."

"I agree." It was Itami. He grabbed Mai's collar. "Tell us now."

I gave Kyo my best hardass look. "There you go. The two senior partners of 
Magical Girl Hunters have spoken. Spill it."

Kyo nodded. "It's a computer program. Details are kind of complicated, but the 
operating system is really simple to use. Basically you feed it enough power and it 
brings back whoever you what. Mai and I can travel the channel ourselves, because of 
what we are, but the rest of you need somebody else to operate the program."

"That doesn't sound like what you said before." Itami again, bless him. He was 
turning into a real chatterbox. Either he was as worried as I was, or Kasumi hanging 
off has arm was distracting him.

Kyo shrugged. "We were still hoping it was possible to work out something with 
Dad before."

Hearing this did not please me. "Great, just great. Ultra probably has that little 
program backed up a million times, and I just bet the two of you don't even have a copy 
between you. Neither of you need it."

Mai broke in. "But it's possible to collapse the channel itself, so nobody can use 
it." Kyo grabbed his arm, but he shook her off. "Sorry, sis. Things have gone too far."

Aika jumped in, sounding like a kid pointing out a plot hole in her favorite 
television program. "Wait a minute. You said you brought you mother back to life? 
So why is Ultra still with all this take over the world stuff? Why isn't your family 
living happily ever after?"

Kyo answered in a whisper. "I said it was a channel. A connection that started 
out rough and got smoother the more it was traveled. Mai and I have tough spirits, but 
those of humans are more fragile. It drove Mom mad. Maybe it drove me and Mai a 
little mad, like Reika said, but it drove Mom a lot mad. She's hopelessly insane."

There seemed nothing to say to that.

Mai finished. "Me and Kyo dying so many times has smoothed it enough so 
humans only go a little crazy when they travel through it." He paused. "Dad never 
blamed us, though. He blamed the battle. The struggle between the forces of good and 
evil. Me and sis, we just blamed the youmas. That's why we're youma hunters."

Kyo seemed to find her voice again. "He didn't start out so bad, you know. At 
first it was negotiation. You know, working out ways for good and evil to solve things 
without fighting. He didn't even want the secret of resurrection from us at first. By the 
time he did want it, Dad had gone crazy enough that we didn't want to give it to him. 
That's why he's been acting this way, you know. That's why nothing he does ever quite 
makes sense. Dad is insane. Completely and totally insane. He'll do things, then undo 
them. Try to hire you, then try to kill you, then try to hire you again. I wouldn't have 
believed it before he took us prisoner, but the things we saw there...." She shuddered.

"So how do we take out this channel?" Yeah, I was really into this leader thing 
now.

"It's tied into a central computer. The physical spell is embodied in that matrix. 
Destroy it and the channel is destroyed.." Kyo blew her nose. "Unfortunately, Dad's 
snatched the matrix and moved it somewhere. We don't know where."

Keikaku spoke up. "I might be able to help there." We all looked at him. "I told 
you I design web sites, Yoi, but I'm also a bit of a hacker. I'm betting that the computer 
power required by this matrix thing would require it to hook into the net occasionally to 
dump data."

"That's right," confirmed Mai.

"Then I'll track it down for you. But I won't be going with you on the attack. This 
time I lost a couple of fingers, the next time it could be a lot worse. The Balancers 
made it all sound so exciting, but from now on I'd like to remain on the sidelines as the 
advisor type." Keikaku looked like he expected us to protest.

"That's all right buddy. You got to do what you got to do." I meant it too. Some 
guys just don't have what it takes for a fight. If Keikaku got hurt so easily, he 
obviously didn't have any of it. Call it karma, call it luck, whatever it was that let Itami 
and I survive fighting monsters and magic with never more than a few scratches and 
twisted arms. And burned faces. And- well we were still alive, anyway.

The discussion went on for a while after that. We were all, even Mai and Kyo, 
agreed on the necessity of hitting Ultra's place and taking out that matrix. I 
remembered to tell Aika about what the Balancers told me. That is, how they were 
willing to remove her powers so she could be Pretty Deadly no more.

"I don't know, Yoi. I'm having a lot of fun with you guys, but-" Her gaze seemed 
to drift over to Reika. "I have to think about it."

"Sure kid. I understand." She'd at least show up tomorrow, I was sure. She'd 
have to skip school, but what did school ever do for Itami or me? She could just tell her 
parents it was magical girl business.

We all split our separate ways, agreeing to meet the next day if Keikaku could get 
the location fast enough. It sounded like he could, Mai having given him a couple of 
tips on what to look for. Itami offered to put me and Reika up at his place for the night, 
but to the immense relief of Sailor H (who had transformed back) we said no. It 
sounded like Ultra was so scrambled, he would have forgotten the location of my 
apartment if he ever knew.

*****

That night, Reika came to my bedroom.

"What? Isn't this.... isn't this a little sudden," I blithered idiotically.

"Shhhhhh." she responded.

A gentleman never tells. On the other hand, I kill little girls for a living. So.....

I was great!!! My best sexual performance ever, if I do say so myself. Anyway.

*****

I got up bright and early the next morning, and went to the office in the wee hours 
of the morning. Reika was still curled up in the sheets, sleeping the sleep of the 
satisfied. Itami was there, just as he had said he would be. I actually caught him 
yawning as I came in. No doubt Sailor H had kept him up late the night before, but I 
could no longer find it in my heart to be jealous.

He and I had agreed to meet separate from the others. It's kind of difficult to 
explain why. I suppose that even with all that had gone on (or maybe because of all 
that had gone on) he was the only one I totally trusted at my back. Itami may have been 
weird, but I knew he would do everything he could to keep me alive, and I would do the 
same for him. The others were all still unknown quantities. Even our respective lovers 
had a screw loose in one way or another. Itami and I have known each other since we 
were like, about ten years old. We were tight.

Sorry about that. I don't know why I get nostalgic like that. Let's just say it was 
time Itami and I had a serious talk about the future of our business.

I found him with his feet up on his desk, throwing darts. He had a box filled with 
strange metal rods on the desk next to his feet. They looked awfully like those magic 
rods magical girls use to transform, so I asked him what they were.

"Magic rods like the kind magical girls use to transform," was his answer.

"What?" I took a couple of careful steps backwards from the box. There certainly 
were a lot of them.

"Trophies. Took them out of Ultra's lab yesterday. He was gearing up." To 
produce magical girls, presumably. Sometimes I wish Itami wasn't the cool silent type.

I didn't ask what he'd grabbed them instead of just tossing a grenade on them or 
something. Itami usually has his reasons. I just oh so carefully picked the box up and 
shoved it under my desk, out of sight. Wouldn't do to give clients the wrong idea.

*THOCK* Itami tossed a dart instead the bullseye of the board. He said, "Do 
you trust them?"

"SCITTER* My dart slammed into the wall beside the board and fell to the 
ground. "Who do you mean?"

*THOCK* "From last night. Do you trust them, any of them?"

Damn. He wasn't going to let this go. "We've known Keikaku since we were in 
school. I don't think he'd stab us in the back. Aika is a good kid. She's always played 
it straight with us, as far as I know. If she decides to stay on, she could be a good 
addition to the team. Kasumi has a screw loose, but she's head over heels for you. 
Unless the two of you had an argument..."

*THOCK* He shook his head.

"So Kasumi is probably okay. Kyo and Mai definitely aren't on our side, but I 
believed their story yesterday. No question but that Ultra is a whacko. They'll at least 
help us on this next job. As for Reika.... She could be really useful if she joins us. I 
know we don't have any formal arrangement here, but I figure if I propose and you 
agree, that makes them an associate."

Itami lifted a dart, then put it down and looked at me. Shit. He was serious. He 
told me, "I don't like Reika."

Shit. "I know we didn't exactly start off on the best foot, but I really think she's on 
our side here. All that karma stuff and such she keeps talking about her."

Itami picked up his dart again. *THOCK* "I don't think Reika is on anybody's 
side but her own. She gives me the creeps."

This from the king of creep-outs himself? Still, he was my best friend. I was 
willing to cut him a little slack. "Reika and I are getting serious, okay? We can hold 
back on bringing her into the business if that makes you more comfortable, but she's 
going to be sticking around for a while."

Itami looked even darker than usual. "Shub-Niggurath thought she was serious 
too. You should have gone with Aika. I like her."

I reached under the desk and grabbed a dart, intending to slam it into the board so I 
could avoid getting up and slamming Itami. Before I could throw, the doors burst open 
and Kyo and Mai burst in. I tucked the dart into my pocket for later.

Their father had raided their hideout, trying for a retrieval. They didn't knew 
whether they had been trailed or not. Itami and I shelved the membership discussion 
until later, grabbed our weapons, and skedaddled with the twins to my apartment. We 
started making some calls, and by noon the entire team was there, rubbing elbows in the 
tiny space and waiting.

The call came. Keikaku had us a target.

*****

It was almost too easy. The guards were youma. Ultra couldn't very well use both 
magical girls and youma. Well he could, but not without being there to personally 
oversee things. At a guess, he had chosen youma because they were stupid and less 
likely to mess with what they were guarding. Magical girls are, after all, young girls. 
As such, they have a lot of curiosity and might not have been able to resist fiddling with 
the matrix.

There must have been about twenty or so youma on patrol around the building. It 
was more of a shack, really. Just one room filled with telecommunications equipment. 
Keikaku called it some sort of substation over the phone. I just sent Kyo and Mai in to 
kill the youma. Hey, it's what they do, and they could always come back from the dead 
if they got hurt.

It's a lot more entertaining to watch that sort of thing than to get involved yourself, 
let me tell you. I had to think that it was a pretty light guard for something so 
important, but Ultra was no doubt depending on secrecy as his best protection. Too 
bad for him. Kyo and Mai came through it alive and unhurt, except for a broken arm 
on Mai's part and really sour expressions on both of them. I don't know what they 
thought they were so upset about.

Reika held us up at the door, muttering something about it "feeling funny". I gave 
Itami a superior look, my main squeeze having proved her worth yet again. He just 
grunted. Itami can be frustrating. It took a couple of minutes and some brief chants by 
Reika, but she eventually pronounced it safe. As a last step, I took out my .45 and cut 
power to the building, the hard way. Hopefully that would take care of any tricky 
lasers such as Ultra tended to install in his own headquarters. It would also probably 
alert Ultra, but in theory we could be in and finished before he could get there. Leaving 
the door open to connect directly to the outside would be our protection against any gas. 
Oh yes, Ultra was clever, but we had a pretty good idea of his typical tricks by this 
time.

The matrix wasn't hard to spot. A glowing column of power, reaching up to the 
ceiling, tends to be pretty conspicuous.

"I thought you said this thing runs off of some sort of computer," I asked Mai.

He clutched his arm and sneered at me. "I also said it was connected to other 
planes of existence. What did you think, we used a Macintosh?"

As much hurry as we were in, all of us took a minute to gather around the thing 
and just look at it. Itami was holding that cursed sword of his, and I remember thinking 
that I hoped he would keep it away from the matrix. Light and dark tend to explode 
when pushed together. Something was bothering me, something I couldn't quite place. 
I chucked my doubts, though, and decided we'd done enough gawking. Raising my gun, 
I started aiming for the matrix, figuring that we ought to start with the simple and work 
our way up. That's when it hit me what was wrong. All of us were gathered around the 
matrix. All of us except Reika. In an instant, it all came together: Itami's misgivings, 
Keikaku's reluctance towards her, her easy betrayal of 'Shubby-chan'....

I half-spun, trying to get my .45 retargetted. It probably saved my life, because 
Reika's bullet went through my lung instead of my heart. Lucky, lucky me. My .45 
went spinning off across the floor and I collapsed, dying.

I heard plenty of gunfire and saw Reika stagger slightly as she was struck. It 
would have warmed my heart, except that she didn't fall. Instead black splotches 
appeared on her skin where her flesh had been pierced, revealing the foul oil 
underneath. It was just like the Sailor Shuggoths. Even with a bullet through my chest, 
I thought of what I had done with her the night before and wanted to hurl.

The imperfections healed over nearly as quickly as they had formed and the shots 
petered out as she made no move to advance forward. She looked at me and almost 
seemed sorry. I moaned, "Why?" which was a stupid question, but I was in no 
condition to choose my questions carefully.

"You should have listened to me Yoi. Remember I told you once that Shub-
Niggurath is subtle and thinks in the long-range? I'm Shubby-chan's sleeper agent. 
When you took me on that raid, I was supposed to betray her and stay with you until an 
opportunity came to really advance the cause, as Shubby-chan knew it would. Ultra is 
insane and becoming a liability anyway. You didn't think Shubby-chan was really 
fooled at the Concert, did you? We just provided a reasonable excuse for Shubby-chan 
to break the alliance without appearing to break her word."

"But why?" It was Pretty Deadly this time. She was still young enough to ask the 
same question I had been hurt enough to ask. "I thought you were Yoi-san's girlfriend!"

Reika chuckled slightly, but not happily. "I really did like Yoi. That's why I tried 
to kill him quickly instead of keeping him for a sacrifice like the rest of you. I am of the 
ninth rank of the eighth circle. I am Shub-Niggurath's hand in this world. I have 
surrendered my soul to her and allowed her essence to fill me. Turn my back on 
Shubby-chan? Might as well expect a hand to betray its body. Ramsbottom knew 
better. Why do you think he was so insistent on my death, when it certainly appeared I 
was no longer a threat? He knew I have become one of the great centers of Shubby-
chan's power in this world."

Reika grinned, and for a moment she looked human again. "Not bad for a twenty 
year-old who got kicked out of typing school, huh?" Then her face and body began 
dissolving into black slime. "That matrix is one end of a channel leading all through the 
spirit planes. I will infiltrate it with my body and spread the influence of Shub-
Niggurath everywhere. Shubby-chan will grow great with power and I will sit at her 
right hand. There is nothing you can do to stop me."

Gray mists were beginning to form over my eyes. I hear that's what starts to 
happen right before you die. I couldn't reach any of my weapons and couldn't lift them 
anyway. All I could do was fumble around in my shirt pocket and pull out the dart. 
Maybe I could put out an eye or something. It turned out not to be a dart.

A magical girl rod. A henshin stick, I thought they called them. I had put the box 
of them underneath my desk, next to the box of darts, and I must have reached into the 
wrong box. It was smaller than most of them, and shaped enough like a dart to fool me. 
Call it an accident of fate. Call it.... karma. I let everything I had fill the rod. I sent in 
my hate and rage at Reika's betrayal. I sent it my desire to protect my friends. Most of 
all, I sent in my fear of death.

The rod sent something back out. I felt an energy flow through me, energizing 
every part of my body and healing my wounds. Effortlessly I stood, feeling a breeze of 
power blow around me. My finger extended itself without my conscious will. "I am 
Yoshi Kurasaka, Magical Girl Hunter. You have hurt me, betrayed me, and been a real 
bitch in general. By the power of the dart I will defeat you." Then I blasted her.

There was no longer enough of Reika's human face left to register surprise, but I 
felt surprise from her nonetheless. The bottom part of her legs had just vanished. I 
took this as my cue to keep blasting her, advancing all the while. It was just like the 
disintegrater Ramsbottom had given us, except that my power didn't have any ten 
second recharge time. Reika's flesh regenerated even better than the Sailor Shuggoths, 
but my continuous rate of fire was taking off bits of her faster than she could grow 
them back. If I hadn't taken out her legs first, she might have been able to flee, but the 
outcome was never really in doubt.

Finally, I was standing over her. Nothing was left of Reika except part of her 
head. It writhed and her face formed out of the black slime. I mouthed the words, 
"Sorry baby," and let loose with one final blast. Reika Ichiko was gone. I hoped 
Shabby-chan was keeping a warm spot especially for her.

Then the euphoria hit. I had done it. I'd won. Won! It was just like the high I got 
after a normal battle, but the power was enhancing it a thousand times. I remembered 
the promise I had made to Koi and shouted, "Hey Aika! Since Reika wasn't my 
girlfriend after all, you want to go on a date?"

"Yes! Yes I'd love to, Yoi!" Aika was pretty pumped, but I only half heard her.

You see, when I shouted to Aika, I noticed something strange about my voice. 
Also, everybody was staring at me with the expression you get looking at a particularly 
interesting car wreck. Everybody except Aika, who obviously had a hefty case of 
love/hero worship. Also, my body felt.... different. I looked down. Yep, breasts.

That's when the screaming started. I wondered who was doing it for a couple of 
seconds, before realizing it was me. It wasn't just the being a woman part, though that 
was bad enough. It was that I was a magical woman. It's like a deer hunter suddenly 
turning into a deer. Not only is it offensive on some basic level, but you know it's all a 
setup for some sort of cosmic justice.

Itami was there for me. "Calm down, Yoi. We'll figure this out" For him, that 
was the equivalent of holding me as I cried for six hours straight.

Sailor H was trying hard to hold in a laugh. Lucky for her she managed, because 
if she had laughed, I would have blown her away on the spot.

We covered Aika, though I was slightly disturbed to realize that she had accepted 
the date without any apparent problem.

Kyo and Mai seemed oddly blas, but they were a couple of crossdressers. What 
did they know?

I couldn't justifiably kill any of them, but I wanted to kill something. I chose to go 
for the source of my problems. Well it wasn't really, but it was something I could hurt. 
The rest of the group scattered as I rained dart blasts upon the matrix. It proved 
tougher than Reika, not immediately disintegrating. It did start to flicker and waver 
though, so I felt like I was doing something right.

"STOP!!! STOP THIS INSTANT!!!" Mashihaish Ultra had arrived and he 
wasn't pleased. That meant I was most definitely doing something right.

He was in his seraphim form, which I guessed was closest my senses could get to 
perceiving his natural one. The wind of his passage knocked us all to the ground as he 
rushed to the matrix. Furthermore, no matter how unlikely it is, I remain convinced to 
this day that he paused along the way to punch me in the stomach. It certainly felt like 
it.

Ultra encased himself within the field of the matrix. Its golden glow seemed to 
strengthen around him and slowly stabilize. He shouted, "My children, how could you 
betray me this way?"

I think Mai said something, but I couldn't hear what. Call it sensory overload. 
Ultra responded, "Never mind. Naughty children, you will be punished. Don't despair 
though, your father will always love you." He turned his gaze to me, and it was even 
less benevolent. "Yoi. I asked you to join me Yoi, and you spurned me at every turn. I 
gave you every chance."

Every chance? Yeah, this guy was nuttier than a fruitcake. Or is that a mixed 
metaphor? I couldn't see why I hadn't seen it sooner.

He continued, though I didn't want him to. "Now you have insulted me for the 
final time. Using my own power, the power reserved for my precious little girls, 
against me! You shall pay Yoi. I can turn the power than you have stolen against you, 
for it is mine!" He was as good as his word. Agony shot through my body, worse than 
when I had been shot minutes before.

So there I was, dying on the floor again. I was afraid it was going to become a 
habit. Then again, I was afraid I wouldn't live for it to become a habit. Something 
dark and evil flew over me, sticking itself in the matrix. Ultra screamed, 
"NOOOOOO!" and there was a tremendous explosion.

Then I saw only darkness.

*****

"Yoi! Yoi! Wake up!" Somebody was shaking me, so I opened my eyes. It was 
Kumiko. I searched through my most recent memories and wondered if any of them 
had been dreams. A quick bodily exam showed I was still female and Sailor Dart, 
which eliminated most of the possibilities along those lines. So I sat up

"Ah Yoi, you're awake." It was Yoshiko, still wearing her business suit. Kumiko 
ran over and hugged her.

"What happened?" That simple phrase really couldn't contain the enormity of my 
questions, but it was a good start.

Yoshiko smiled, which made me slightly nervous. "Do you fully recall the events 
up to the point where Ultra entered the matrix?"

"Uh-huh."

Her smile got even wider. "Your friend Itami threw some sort of sword containing 
dark energy at the matrix. Not only did it penetrate the matrix, it penetrated Ultra 
himself. Your friend has quite an arm. The good news is that the sword weakened 
Ultra so much that he lost control and the matrix destroyed itself. The even better news 
is that by placing himself in the matrix, Ultra had technically left earth. We were able 
to snatch him back to heaven, where he has had his powers stripped and is currently 
undergoing treatment. He won't be back to earth for thousands of years, if ever."

I looked, and sure enough, in the wreckage of the matrix was stuck the melted 
remains of Itami's sword. I looked a little more and spotted Itami. He was seated 
cross-legged on the ground. Sailor H was laying next to him asleep, her head resting in 
his lap. At least I think she was asleep. I called out to him, "Hey Itami, thanks. Sorry 
about your family sword."

He waved back. "No problem. I think it was slowly devouring my soul anyway."

I brushed myself off and got up. This seemed to be the signal for a few people to 
close in on me. First up were Kyo and Mai. They were pretty happy to see me, all that 
earlier business about making them fight youmas alone apparently forgotten. "So now 
that your father's in prison, what's up for you two now?" I ask.

Kyo flapped her wings. I noticed that now her and Mai were letting them hang 
loose, instead of hiding them as they normally did. "Well some of these people-" she 
pointed at Yoshiko, "seem to think that two half-angels could make a whole one. We've 
been offered Dad's power and position as a team."

Mai added. "Youma hunting was never that fulfilling anyway. We're abandoning 
life on earth for a while; have to go train in heaven. I'm not clear on how long that'll be. 
Could be months, could be years, could be longer."

Kyo winked at me. "But in the end we'll be getting Dad's old job. That means 
outfitting and training champions. _Properly_ training them. I hope you retire before 
we have to become enemies."

"Yeah, me too," I said as Kyo slung her arm over her brother's shoulder and they 
walked away together.

Kumiko and Yoshiko took this as their cue to approach me again. Kumiko 
reached out and hugged me briefly. "Good-bye Yoi. The Balancers' work here is done 
for now, and they have other things for me to do in other places. Maybe I'll see you 
again before too long."

Yoshiko nodded and added, "Now that the channel is closed, we've been able to 
correct the loophole in the universe's programming. No more half-angels or anybody 
else coming back from the dead. Not unless we want them to, that is. You did well 
Yoi. I know you won't believe me, but we honestly didn't anticipate what happened 
here today. I thought we'd have to go to much greater lengths to trap Ultra. You and 
your team are truly a force to be reckoned with."

I joked, "I hope you never have to balance me!"

She didn't laugh. "Yes, me too. By the way, the check for that last job is in the 
mail." As a rip in space opened in front of the two women, I suddenly realized 
something rather important. "Wait! I'm still stuck as a magical girl!"

Yoshiko flashed me one final grin. Ultra's capture had seemingly made her very 
happy. "With Ultra gone, the only remnants of his power are stored in people and 
anchored by physical objects. Break your henshin rod and allow the magic to escape 
and you will no longer be a magical girl." With that, she and Kumiko vanished into the 
portal.

Aika, who had apparently been a little intimidated by the others, walked over to 
me. "That was really cool when you blasted Reika, Yoi. I think I'm going to stick with 
being a magical girl after all."

"Thanks, Aika. Give me your gun, will you?" I pulled the rod out of some sort of 
pocketspace and dropped it on the ground. Then I aimed and fired. Yoshiko had said 
to smash the thing and I don't much like half-measures.

With Ultra gone, the rod was brittle as glass. It shattered into a thousand 
fragments and I felt a great surge of power leave me. My body seemed to groan and I 
was much weaker. Unfortunately, I was still a woman.

"Iwillnotscream Iwillnotscream. Why didn't I change back. WHY DIDN'T I 
CHANGE BACK??!!" I shook my fists, before noticing that it made my breasts flop 
around. I had returned to my original clothing, which wasn't designed for a female 
frame.

My partner cleared his throat "Path of least resistance. It had to make you a girl 
so that you could be a magical girl. It didn't have to make you a guy so that you aren't 
a magical girl anymore. It just took the magic away." I threw my worst glare at Itami, 
but he just ignored it. Probably more easily than usual, as I had no experience glaring 
as a woman. Even so, he was right.

What's more, Yoshiko must have known! 'No longer a magical girl', my butt. She 
knew! I swore I'd find a way to pay her back.

Sailor H was still pretending to be asleep, but I could see her smiling, damn her.

Aika hugged me, which wasn't her usual MO. She said, "Don't worry Yoi. If you 
really want, I'm sure you can find some way to be a guy again. You'll feel better when 
you take me on that date."

A number of thoughts ran through my mind. Aika was touching me a lot more 
than usual. She still wanted to go on that date. Her breasts were pushing very firmly 
against my arm. There were a number of stereotypes about women heavily interested in 
such masculine things like fighting and guns. Just stereotypes, but still....

Oh hell. At least now that Ultra was gone, I'd be able to slow down and think 
things through. Maybe take a few "normal" jobs. Of course, Ultra was going to leave 
quite a power vacuum. Who would fill it? His general Haikite? Ramsbottom, the 
mysterious youma boss? What about Shub-Niggurath? She wasn't going to be to 
happy with me for taking out her Reika. Mizumo corporation still owed us money. 
Princess Love was still out there, as were the Sailor Shuggoths. Then there were the 
difficulties we were going to have integrating Kasumi and Aika into the team, when one 
was a psycho and the other had to be home on school nights. And most important of 
all, I was still a woman!

But at least Ultra was gone. That was one down.

=========

How will all of Yoi's questions be answered? Will he be a woman forever? Will the 
foursome finally get some downtime for a little R&R? Is Aika bi-sexual?

Turn in next time for part 20 and all or none of these answers!

